Musicals Gone Flat

Musicals now sound like parodies of musicals
“I’d be delighted” “ayyyyyye’d beeeeee deeeeee lighted” What dribble.  Musicals never were much to begin with but seem stuck in an era long since past.  The only reason people go to these silly things is because they feel in some way it makes them come off as sophisticated.  Musicals are some of the worst entertainment ever staged.  The lines are very contrived.  The plots are more simplistic than a 1st grade reader. Even the holiest of all musicals “Fiddler on the Roof” is garbage.  Why do people line up around the block for this crap?  If you’ve seen one Jerry Lewis movie then you’ve seen every musical.  I pity the audiences of both.  For the most part a musical is centered on one song.  In rare cases there are two songs in a musical.  The other numbers simply are there as padding.  95% of the writing goes into one song the other 5% is divided among the others.  Now that one song that has all the effort in it has only one hook or catchy phrase and it’s repeated to death.  There is so little of the dead horse left after the beating it takes by show’s end it’s only a red stain.  The real comedy in musicals has to be the “creative talent”.  I just know that they are sitting around somewhere watching the idiots travel to the big city and plunk down $100 per seat to see this crap.  And they are laughing their asses off. If I were going to make a parody of musicals I could not do a better job of it than this latest effort “Little Women”.

There were two movie musicals that didn’t suck.  “Little Shop of Horrors” and “Chicago”
Little Shop was carried on the back of Steve Martin’s evil Elvis.  Chicago had a single very good number I forget the name but the women in the prison were explaining why they had killed men.  I had to suppress the “men bad women good” ala Thelma and Louise sentiment that was being hammered but I was able to enjoy the performance of the tier two stars.

In summary, I would recommend that if you feel the need to improve your image by attending a musical, that you simply save the money and time, read an online review, and go back into the office the next day telling all of your water cooler buddies how hip you are and drop a few lines that the critics wrote.